TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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