Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
