I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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