if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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