READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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