420 ftw
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Randomize
