it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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