Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.