got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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