He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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