what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
