So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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