anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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