There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
