I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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