Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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