Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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