Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
i think my cat just said my name.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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