i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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