In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
