Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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