YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Randomize
