i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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