I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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