these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.