i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night