i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?