Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
