Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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