Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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