he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
