I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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