I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
babies were throwing up all over the place
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I just blew my weed a kiss
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
