you turned your livingroom into a bong?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Randomize
