I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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