I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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