he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
