She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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