guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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