Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
