If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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