All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
