If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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