$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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