I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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