stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Randomize
