I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
