she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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