Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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