Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
