I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
if i can run in heels then i can drive
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
