He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
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