he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
This show inspires me to have sex in space
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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