My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Randomize
