Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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