He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Edward fifth and chaser hands
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
