I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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