I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should my penis look like a turkey
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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