Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
