around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
You did what with his pubic hair?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
