I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
