Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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