I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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