I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
There's even glitter on my cock...
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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