I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
