i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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