Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
